The story about my duck sweater

June 26, 2018

The husband was away for a long weekend so I took it as an opportunity to do major cleaning, reorganize the house and simplify all home aspects by rearranging the furniture and throwing or giving away things that no longer serve us. 


In Lausanne, you can find donation bags in your mailbox few times per year, distributed by few associations such as Texaid and Textura. All donated items are either distributed to those in need, or recycled. 



I was sifting through my autumn and winter stuffs to be given away when my duck sweater caught my attention (picture above). Evidently it is not the cutest sweater ever but believe me or not, when I first saw it hanging at Chatuchak Market in Bangkok, it was like a thunderbolt to my undercover kooky side. Its raw simplicity, its dullness almost to the point of ugliness got me.  


Something like "in this Coco Chanel and the Kardashians dominated world, let me just wear a duck sweater instead." 


Obviously, my husband doesn't share my romantic sentiment. In fact, he was quite ardent when expressing his feelings. Coming from someone who rarely express his dislikes, I find it gratifying that my duck sweater can impact him that much. 


Reminiscing the occasion, I snapped a photo and shared it to my instastory with a poll if I should keep it or donate - for the sole purpose of teasing my husband who was away at that moment. I then continued to fold it, place it inside the donation bag mentioned-above. I didn't think much of it until I revisited my instastory few hours later.


The response was overwhelming. 58% voted for KEEP with legit reasonings: one said I should keep it or even turn it into a keepsake (bag), very few put it in a funny way (like using it as a silent protest tool against the husband) whilst some offered bulletproof opinions about keeping one's individuality intact, even after marriage.


Only two of the 42% responded with reasoning. One said I should donate it because of the color (difficult to clean baby food stain). And one said I should just thrash it as donating will be an insult, indicating the sweater is ugly to a fault(?).


Initially the latter riled me up but then on second thought, opinions are opinions. They are constructed based on one's own perception of logic, one's level of (emotional) intelligence and one's past experiences. So an opinion can be smart, outstanding, stupid, unbelievable, ridiculous, wonderful, moronic, childish, funny, yada yada - in short everything but wrong.  For example someone whom had had a horrific experience with ducks, no one can understand why this person can have such profound reactions at the sights of cute ducks except those who experienced the same trauma.


Yes I am pulling the leg of my duck sweater's hater a little bit. But my main point is, one's opinion is always legit, no matter what. So no offence taken, hater. But wait, I am not quite done yet. To have an opinion is one thing, to channel your energy into writing hateful message is another. You might want to rethink that. 


As for me, my main priority is to give away and simplify my life space so I chose to let go, as simple as that. I have hoarded enough in my life; items I no longer use, bad feelings for the people who are no longer in my life, painful memories that never left, and it is time to dig out the dead roots and let the soil breathe. The final two are going to be challenging definitily so I am starting small, one step at a time, hoping to be able to plant seeds of pure happiness and peace, one fruitful day.


A final message to my duck sweater's hater (and to those who hide behind fake account to send hateful messages or comments): I kindly suggest you do the same. Go find the root of your suffering and let go. Namaste. 




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